For Good

Excerpts from "For Good" from Wicked

...I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes the sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a hand print on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
  

...I do believe I have been changed for the better

And because I knew you (x3)
I have been changed for good. 

Well, all of this is to say, I have been changed for the better and for good.  This song has been on my mind over the last few days, as I've been reflecting in Caye Caulker.  Every person that I encounter has left a hand print in my life and the people in Belize have been no exception to this.

I think about the children of the orphanage in Belmopan: Kaiden, Luis, Alexia, and Moses (just to name a few).  These children were so full of joy and took care of each other.  I think there is a lot many adults could learn from these children who worked together and loved on each other (and us too!).

I think about Gladys and her kindness in Succotz.  This lovely lady shared her family and life with me and Beth.  We were able to share with each other in order to understand each other's lives and cultures more and more importantly how we can support each other as children of God.

I think about the children in Succotz at the campground: Leslie, Gilda, Waren, Erica, Victor, and the students from Victorious Elementary School. They are so special with their smiles and laughter.  I really believe you can see Jesus in their eyes.  I specifically think of one young girl who started pulling leaves off of me after we were playing in the yard and then started to braid my hair.  I didn't ask her to do any of these things, but this young girl's act melted my heart.

I think about my students and friends from Alvin L Young High School.  It was a privilege to see them all again, catch up with them, and help them prepare for their upcoming tests.  It was even more touching to me when Jarod, Brent, and Marconi came to church in Succotz in the rain to see me one last time.

 I think about Sebastian, Luisa, the children, and all of the other people I met in the Toledo District.  Their lives were so entirely different from mine: they spoke different languages, ate different foods, lived in different kinds of houses, and faced different challenges than I do at home (and even different than the people in the Cayo District).  However, we were all so much alike because we were made by God.  We were all working to serve the same Creator.  Their kindness exhibited God's love.  They also taught me some cool Kechi words and phrases to take home and share.

I think about Javier, one of our snorkeling guides in Caye Caulker.  Javier was so kind and helpful.  He went out of his way to allow us to have cool experiences like swimming with sting rays, sea turtles, and sharks.  He also talked to me about his plans to move to England and join the British Navy.

All of these people and so many more have became large parts of my story and life.  They have changed me and have made greater impacts than any of them realize.  I know the thought was often that we were helping them, but in reality, they we're helping us.  They will be in my prayers forever.

A Night of Fright

Caye Caulker has been a fun experience.  This year and last year have both proven to be very different because the two trips were with different people which have presented me with different opportunities.  Both trips had snorkeling during the day time, which I thoroughly enjoyed.  This year in particular, I got to hold a sting ray and swim with it.  I also got to swim with many nurse sharks and even pet their face!  Not to mention, the countless sea turtles, tropical fish, and coral.  We also got to see a rather menacing looking Murray Eel.  It was wonderful.

Now, for the "Night of Fright" (which was nothing like the one at King's Island!)...

Earlier this week, Christy asked if anyone would be interested in night snorkeling.  I was considering it but hoping that other students would take on the opportunity.  After snorkeling with the group on Tuesday, I realized that I must snorkel again.  So, I told Christy I was in and this evening we began our adventure.  We headed to dinner for an early meal at "Pandas," a Chinese restaurant near our hotel.  It was a good meal that allowed us to get to know each other better.  Then, we were off for snorkeling.  We got suited up with wetsuits, flippers, masks, snorkels, and waterproof flashlights along with a retired middle school teacher from Oregon, Penny.  After lots of chatting, we headed to the back side of the island to Shadrach's boat. 

On our ride to the Caye Caulker Marine Reserve, we watched the sun finish setting and reviewed over what we would be doing and how we would be doing it.  Christy braved the water first without a life jacket.  Next went Penny, proudly clinging to her life jacket.  Then it was my turn, I was a little (okay, a lot) nervous about it all, considering how dark it was and how hard the wind was blowing.  I could see it blowing the water hard.  I debated for a while on the life jacket.  I can swim and snorkeled the whole time the day before without one, but the dark and pending 25 minute swim against the current had my nerves questioning it.  Eventually, I just jumped in with my light on and without the life jacket.  My first glimpse into the water freaked me out.  I've never been claustrophobic but something about the dark made me feel that way, even though I was in the large ocean without barriers.  I felt myself breathing heavily and realized that I needed to calm myself down before I ended up hyperventilating.  We began to snorkel through shallow water.  There were large black spiny sea urchins everywhere (and Shadarach had specifically directed us to steer clear of them to avoid a nasty sting).  I was so worried about getting stung because they were all over the coral. 

As we swam, I became more comfortable and the water became much deeper.  Along the way, we saw lots of large lobsters, colorful fish, hermit crabs, a large barracuda, and an octopus.  In the deepest water, we got to experience one of the coolest parts: bio-iluminesence.  We had to turn off our lights and stay close to the coral (but not too close, so you weren't cut) and move our hands and feet to create the bio-iluminesence.  It was so cool to see the bright glows all over the very dark water.  We did this for a while and when we were through, we floated on our backs and looked at the stars.  The stars were much brighter than those at home.  After stargazing, we headed back to the boat.  On the boat, we stargazed some more and then headed to shore.  When we got back, there was a crocodile where the boat was to be parked, so we took some pictures of it until it swam off.

When the night was through, Christy and I got some homemade ice cream (the best I've ever had...Belizean Fudge and Coconut) and headed back to the hotel.  Overall, it was an amazing and unique experience.  I'm not sure I would ever do it again, but who knows, I'm always up for an adventure :)

Leaving Colombia San Pedro

This trip has been a whirl wind.  I feel like I have been in Belize forever but that I also just got here, if it possible to be overwhelmed with both of those feelings at the same time.  I know that the trip isn't over yet, but we are coming to the end of our time in the villages and preparing to head for a couple fun days on the island.  Both have their perks, but in all reality, I prefer to be with the people.  The relationships that I have rekindled with old friends and formed with new friends are what draws me into this country.  They are the reason I came back this January and hope to in the future.

Yesterday, was our last full day in a village.  We had class for much longer than any of us could have expected.  Our class was full of tense discussions regarding affirmative action.  Following class, Dr. Skon, Amelia, Sarah, Katie, and I went on about a 2 mile walk to "downtown" San Pedro Columbia.  During our stroll, we got to go into a couple local stores, meet the most adorable puppy that followed Amelia and I, see an old church, and try some homemade yogurt made by a lady named Mary.  Last night, we played with the kids one last time.  I always hate the thought of leaving and saying goodbye.  Last year, when I left Succotz for Caye Caulker, I cried so hard, heart broken that I was leaving these people that I had learned to love. This year I'm leaving with a smile, not that I'm happy to leave (however, I will be happy to see my family next weekend) but because  I know that God has used this time in Belize to minister to me through the people of Belize and hopefully I have been able to do the same.

Fishing in PG

The Mennonite children climbing on the fence.

The ocean!!

This afternoon, we went back into Punta Gorda (the largest city in the Toledo District).  It was very different than being there at night and I have to admit, I prefer the daylight.  As a group, we walked through town following Prof Yerxa.  We got some WD's ice cream at a small parlor on the side of the road.  They were out of pineapple and coconut (I was rather disappointed) but I tried cheesecake and oreo and they were pretty good :)
After the ice cream, we listened to the marching band, did some window shopping, and headed down to the ocean.  The sky and water were beautiful!  We could see the Hondoran mountains in the distance too!

At the pier, Brighton and I met two young boys fishing.  The boys told us their names were Dalvin and Cliff, however, I suspect that those were probably
made up.  They were fishing to feed their pet turtle that eats 5 fish per day.  As the boys showed us their gear (a fishing line that was attached to a small piece of wood as a handle with a tiny rusty hook on the other end and a small amount of a mysterious almost flesh like meaty material for bait), they told us that they often come after school to fish.  We helped them fish until we had to leave to head back to the bus.  They only had one fish upon our departure, but hopefully they caught more as the evening went on!

Brighton helping the boys find some fish!

Expecting the Unexpected

Amelia and I in our beds.

My alarm was set this morning for 6:30 am, because I wanted to work on work that I need to get done.  I woke up before my alarm and realized that it was raining a torrential downpour (or so it seemed as it hammered upon our tin roof).  The rain took away my motivation to walk out to the pavilion in order to get internet and work on my work so I laid back down to rest more.  Before I knew it, I heard someone yelling "Guest speaker in 15 minutes!"  I was thinking,
"What in the world?  We are supposed to leave for the school at 8:30 and it's only 7 am!"  Listening to a speaker was not exactly the first thing I wanted to do this morning.  Never-the-less, I headed out to grab breakfast (pancakes with honey) and listen to our guest speaker.  We talked about cultural differences between the states and Belize mostly.  It was actually pretty interesting (although, I think we can all agree that our 15 minutes of warning beforehand left many of us a little off kilter).  At the end, we were told to go change immediately, so we can head off to the school.  So, all of us girls ran off to grab our skirts in order to head to the school for the day.  When we were ready to board the bus, we were informed that with all the rain, the bus couldn't make the drive, so we would actually be staying here.  Once again, we headed back to change.  Dr. Skon gave us about an hour to figure ourselves out before class.  In class, we talked about love.  It was a pretty good discussion with the occasional interruption of dogs barking and loud rain banging on the tin roof, but it left us all with thoughts of what true sacrificial love really is.

Following class, many of us rested and worked on class work.  The internet wasn't working very well and the rain was rather unmotivating but we had most of the day to work.  I tried to get some stuff done but like many of the others, I was distracted by every little thing and couldn't sit still.  I was anxious to go do anything.  Once the rain calmed, Brighton and I went on a walk exploring the area, hoping to see something exciting.  Along our walk we didn't encounter anything too unordinary, other than Belizeans graciously offering us rides in their cars, some friendly boys on bikes, grass huts, butterflies, and a pretty stream.  Once we got back, we found out everyone at the camp had experienced a downpour, but we never felt more than a little sprinkle!  We felt pretty lucky!  Then we joined some of the others playing with a soccer ball with some little boys and eventually some Monopoly Deal and euchre.

After dinner, Dwight (our bus driver and friend) summarized his life story for us.  It was captivating.  I was intrigued with his stories about growing up in Belize, attending SNU, teaching in schools, and most importantly serving God.  Dwight challenged us to keep our names "good' and to minister to others in all that we do.  He encouraged us to be righteous with a roar like a lion, not from fear but from confidence.

Last but not least, Third Day "When the Rain Comes" has been in my mind all day long.  It seems rather fitting considering all the rain we've had recently and our discussions about love and ministry.

When the rain comes, 

it seems that everyone has gone away
When the night falls, 

you wonder if you shouldn't find someplace
To run and hide
Escape the pain
But hiding's such a lonely thing to do

(chorus)
I can't stop the rain
From falling down on you again
I can't stop the rain
But I will hold you 'til it goes away.

When the rain comes
you blame it on the things that you have done
When the storm fades
you know that rain must fall on everyone
Rest awhile
it'll be alright
No one loves you like I do

Albertine

"Albertine" - Brooke Fraiser

I am sitting still
I think of Angelique
her mothers voice over me
And the bullets in the wall where it fell silent
And on a thousandth hill, I think of Albertine
there in her eyes what I don't see with my own
Rwanda

[CHORUS]
Now that I have seen, I am responsible
Faith without deeds is dead
Now that I have held you in my own arms, I cannot let go till you are

I am on a plane across a distant sea
But I carry you in me
and the dust on, the dust on, the dust on my feet
Rwanda

[CHORUS]

[BRIGDE]
I will tell the world, I will tell them where I've been
I will keep my word
I will tell them Albertine

[CHORUS]

I am on a stage, a thousand eyes on me
I will tell them, Albertine
I will tell them, Albertine 

Thanks to Maddie Layton, this was our education group's anthem during our stay in Belize last year.  The song keeps reverberating in my head as I've been here in Belize, especially San Jose Succotz.  Succotz has such a special place in my heart, but not just the town, the people.  The people have changed me.  They are so incredibly special to me and they each hold an important piece of my heart.  Last year, I remember crying like I've never cried before, after my last day of teaching.  This year, I haven't cried but I feel like I have hope.  Hope that I will see my Belizean friends once again, whether God blesses me with another opportunity in this glorious country and town or if I have to wait until heaven, I can't wait until we meet again.  And, until we meet again, I won't cease sharing their stories of the amazing students and people here in Succotz.

 

Jarod, Me, and Marconi at church last night (and Marconi you were right, I probably should have turned my flash on lol!)

Last night, I went to the youth service at the Nazarene church here and three of

my students took the bus from Benque Viejo in order to see me once last time.  It meant the world to me, once last round of hugs and promises to email and Facebook.  Thank heavens for technology and people like Dr. Skon, Mary, and Doug who can make it work so well!  It's crazy to think that I can keep in contact with my friends when I'm back in the states even those in this wonderful little town. 

In closing this little (okay, maybe long) blog, I will be carrying you in me, in way more than just the dust on my feet Succotz.

The sunsetting as we drove back into Succotz last night...I'm praying that it won't be the last sunset I get to see in Succotz.

Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining

Today has been wonderful! It started out a little rocky but improved immensely. This morning, one of the girls had to go home so she could see her doctor in the states because she has been sick. After her departure, we had 3.5 hours of class (talk about a long day)! We watched a video about South Africa and Apartheid, debated the death penalty, and talked about justice.

Additionally, a Mayan lady (Dolores), two of her daughters and 3 week old grandaughter (who was absolutely precious!) came to sell us bracelets and necklaces. I recognized Dolores (she wore the same unforgettable Mayan looking bright green dress) and sat and talked with her and her daughters this morning. They traveled from near Belmopan by bus to come to see us. They were so sweet and talented. They overwhelmed me with their kindness and generosity.


After I ate a quick lunch, I headed up to the high school. I was hoping to go earlier, but since class lasted long, I couldn't go any sooner. I arrived as they were beginning to go to their lunch, so I got to talk with the students. I also helped in the office. When lunch was over, I headed to Form 3 (similar to juniors in high school) to help the students prepare for their Geometry final next week. I was thrilled to find the students working with parallel lines, transversals, and some very interesting proof like problems that combined their knowledge of triangles and circles. It was also nice to catch up with some of my students from last year and see how they've excelled in mathematics since then. After Form 3, I went to Form 4 (similar to seniors in high school) for math. Form 4 was working on more advanced Algebra. It was great to spend more time with them and see their improvements in math and spoken English. Being at the high school (and Succotz in general) is simply a joy for me. When school was out, some of the kids stayed after for more help, others played basketball and some just wanted to talk with me (anyone that knows me know I will NEVER turn down a good chat lol!)

Once I was done with the high school, I got to turn into a monkey and jungle gym with the younger kids (most ranged from about 5-10 years old) as they got out of school. It was so much fun! We climbed in the trees, attempted Duck Duck Goose and mostly rolled around on the ground giggling like little girls do (with the occasional dog pile or two on Courtney and I). Once we were done on the ground, all the girls wanted to help us up, clean the dirt and grass off of us and braid our hair. It was absolutely precious they way they wanted to care for us. I can't get enough of their smiling faces and hugs!

The afternoon started winding down with Victor (one of our friends from last year) and some other boys finding a tarantula (and trying to torment the girls with it). A pastor also spoke with us about Belizean life and what we can do to continue to help Belize. All in all, this day turned out full of blessings despite our sad beginning.

Alvin L Young High School

Similar to Kendra, I came to Belize last January and taught in Alvin L Young High School. Today, I got the privilege to return to the school on their first day back from Christmas break. The first student that spoke to me, Josh, came running from his taxi shouting "Miss Cassie, you came back!" All I could do was smile and be just as excited that I had the privilege to return. He told me that as his taxi came down the hillside, he saw my bright hair and knew that it must be me because no one has hair like mine. As students came to school, I continued to share hugs and catch up with old friends. It was more than exciting for me that they seemed to be just as excited as I was to see them. It is amazing how you can grow so close to a group of students in just a few short weeks.

Unfortunately, I could not attend the first half of the school day, because we had our own class to attend. Today, was our first day for debates in our Senior Colloq class. We debated Just War vs Pacifism. It was interesting and a good learning experience for everyone since it was the very first debate. After our class, we had a short break and then lunch, chicken burritos on homemade flour tortillas and pineapple. The pineapple here is like nothing you could ever taste at home. It is amazing for lack of better words.

After the delectable pineapple, I got to go do what I had been looking forward to doing most and the reason I took this trip, I returned to the high school. I came up as their lunch was beginning so I talked with students outside of the school as they had their lunch. I was thrilled to hear what was going on in their lives and to see that all the Form 3 students made it successfully to Form 4! One of the girls, Rowena, even told me about how their new math teacher this year was reteaching them what I taught them last year (factoring, foil, and the quadratic formula). They also remembered me teaching imaginary numbers and have been trying to use them. I was so excited to hear that the material I taught was actually remembered! When lunch was over, I headed up to class with Form 4. Math review began (they have finals next week), their teacher mostly reviewed topics with them. Tomorrow, I'll be helping out much more. I also sat through Spanish with them. I was excited to be able to read their written Spanish (even though the spoken Spanish was much harder to follow!). After school, I talked to many of the students and teachers even more. It's sad to think that I only get to spend a few short days here in Succotz with these people that mean so much to me, but I intend to make the most of every moment, reminding each student how special they were to me. This town and these students will always hold a very special place in my heart. They are all so smart and kind and welcomed me into their lives in such a special way. I really believe that they've taught me more than I could ever teach them.

In His Image

Isn't it beautiful how similar and different we all are? I love that amongst these similarities and difference we are all still made in God's image.

A Day with Gladys

Beth and I had the unique opportunity after church today to go home with a lady name Gladys. Gladys had her two daughters, niece, and nephew with her at church. First, we went to her house, so her daughters could change clothes. Then, we took a taxi to the outskirts of town to Gladys's sisters home. We had lunch with Gladys and her children and two of Gladys's sisters and their families. They made us a traditional Belizean meal of rice, chicken, and plantains. We had lots of conversation throughout the day about Belizean life, their personal lives, and our own lives. Gladys was very interesting and inspiring with her strong devotion to God. We also watched the children play hide and seek throughout the yard. When we left, we walked the trek back into Succotz to Gladys's house and spent more time with her and her children. It was a wonderful experience to see into the life of a Belizean.

The Orphanage and Zoo

Wow, where to begin? This trip has been AMAZING so far. This is my third and final j-term trip of my MVNU career. In each one, I have had new experiences, made new friends, and grew a little bit more as a person and in my relationship with God. I would highly recommend one to anyone who even considers one for a moment!
Yesterday, after class, I had the opportunity to spend some time with some beautiful children in Belmopan at an orphanage. The children were amazing and it has been my favorite thing thus far. The children ranged in age from infants to in their 20s. Many of them came from various situations from teen moms to abusive homes to impoverished families that simply couldn't afford to care for them. The children at the home got along with each other very well. They all had chores and took care of each other. While we were with them, we did crafts, sang songs, played on the playground, and played basketball and soccer. They helped remind me how blessed I am, but that God also blesses them. You could see it in their smiles and interactions with others. Despite their circumstances, they emitted much joy and had people who really cared about them. One of the little boys I encountered at the orphanage was Kaiden. Kaiden was about 4 years old. Kaiden attached himself to me after playing peek-a-boo while we were painting suncatchers. After the suncatchers, he ran and got a truck to play with. When he realized that I didn't have one to play with too, he ran to go get me one, so we could play together. Later, Kyle was tossing an American football with one of the older boys and they started tossing it over to Kaiden as I held him in my arms. We continued to pass it and eventually Kaiden was standing on his own tossing it. At one point, he stepped on a fire ant colony. He started yelling “Ants.” I picked him up and Kyle pulled his shoes off of him (he was one of the only children even wearing shoes). We knocked the ants off of him (which inadvertently made them also land on our feet). But, amongst the ants, dog poo, and garbage was beauty and love. I wanted to stay with these children so much longer; there was so much we could learn from each other.Now, for today. We went to the zoo this morning. Last year in Belize, the zoo was full of special memories for me: holding a boa, petting a tapir (for those of you reading: beware, they will pee if they don't like you), high fiving a jaguar, and most excitingly, going in the cage with Buddy the jaguar. This year, I was anxious to see the toucans, tapirs, and jaguars. First, I headed for the tapir exhibit, but they weren't there on that side of the exhibit. Then, we proceeded to walk around and see different exhibits including some rodents, pecary (a type of wild pig), a grey fox, and macaws. Eventually, we arrived upon Buddy's exhibit. There was a man there with lots of video equipment. Apparently, he was doing a documentary for PBS on the Belize Zoo. So, the zoo was setting up shots with Buddy in order to help them get good pictures and video of him. During this time, I got some great pictures while being mesmerized once again by the beauty, grace, and power exhibited by the jaguar. They are simply breath taking. Then, I went onto other parts of the zoo. During my exploring, I encountered the most amazing birds I've ever seen, a male and female Harpy Eagle. It was the strangest almost cartoon like bird and it was huge. It's diet consisted of anteaters, iguanas, and Belizean rodents. I was in awe of it's size. Then, I headed back to see the tapirs again. On my way, Doug and Christy stopped me. They told me they signed me up to go back in the jaguar cage with Christy, Dr. Skon, Kendra, and Ginny, I was excited, I didn't think that they were even doing it today. Once in the cage, I got to feed Buddy a chicken foot (I really held the cut off leg of a dead chicken, it honestly felt kind of weird but so exciting); his massive incisors were nearly touching me as he pulled the chicken leg into his mouth using his tongue. I also got to pet his back, tail and feet. The pads of his feet were quite intriguing, they were smooth, unlike an outdoor dog's rough and calloused pads on their feet. Buddy also did somersaults for us and playfully ran in circles above our head. I feel incredibly lucky to have went in his cage not only once, but twice. If I wasn't going to teach, I think I would probably be a zoologist working with and educating others about the amazing animals of this world like Buddy the jaguar. If we don't take care of them and protect them now, they will not be here tomorrow.